jeremy borger [blog]

When I was in fifth or sixth grade, Joanna Siebert…

When I was in fifth or sixth grade, Joanna Siebert was my first girlfriend. I was afraid to even hold her hand and we never really went out anywhere, so I don’t know why she was considered my girlfriend. I don’t even think I asked her directly. I think some friends of ours set it up, like agents working out some deal for a movie star or something. But we talked on the phone a lot. I think it lasted for a couple of weeks.

In seventh grade I had a crush on Stacy Frazier. I was actually president of the Stacy Frazier fan club. Seriously. There were three members. I was president, Tom Blue was vice president and Ricky Licata was secretary. I think he handled treasurer duties as well. She was a year older than us and really wasn’t interested in any of us at all. The fan club probably didn’t help. But I remember after St. Thomas won some basketball game, she gave me a hug. I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world.

My first kiss was in eighth grade with April Simmons outside the Westgate movie theater. It was awkward and quick. I remember telling a friend of mine the following week that she had a tongue like a lizard. Not that I had a lot of experience with lizard tongues.

When did puppy love and crushes turn into lust and conquest? When did I go from being afraid of holding a girl’s hand to trying to get a girl to come home with me? When did conversations about lizard tongues turn into conversations about things a lot dirtier? What made me change from liking a girl, thinking about her all the time, and being awkward and shy around her to being afraid of commitment and just trying to keep the “bullpen” full?

Oh yeah. I remember…